From Struggling to Thriving: A Nurses Journey Through Second Victim Syndrome during the Pandemic

In the early days of the pandemic, I served tirelessly in both the Neuro ICU and the COVID ICU at a different hospital. Working five to six consecutive days with minimal rest between shifts, the relentless nature of the pandemic took a toll. On my fifth shift, fatigued and emotionally drained, the weight of responsibility became overwhelming. I had been administering Lovenox, a blood-thinning medication, to COVID patients following newly discovered information about the virus causing blood clots. However, this time was different – a young mother under my care succumbed to disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC) and bled out after receiving the medication. Intellectually, I knew it wasn't anyone's fault, yet emotionally, I couldn't shake the feeling of personal responsibility for her death.

This incident became a turning point, triggering deep depression and thoughts of self-harm. The fear of causing harm to another patient haunted me, leading to panic attacks before each shift. Recognizing the need for help, I reached out to my family, who offered crucial support. Seeking professional assistance, I began therapy and was prescribed medication for depression and anxiety. The subsequent months were a challenging journey of healing, marked by therapy, medication, and introspection.

Today, I find myself in a significantly improved mental and emotional state and no longer in need of the anxiety and depression medication. Embracing life and my role as a nurse, I have transformed this painful experience into an opportunity for growth. My newfound perspective fuels a passion to support fellow healthcare professionals grappling with second victim syndrome. Through the creation of the CHEER Initiative, my dream is to ensure every Grady employee, from doctors to EVS staff, is aware of and can easily access the resources available for their well-being. Grady's commitment to staff well-being is unwavering, and it's time for every team member to know and benefit from the support that exists.